Archive for the ‘Nonfiction’ Category

Ashes: Running

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

Shod feet hitting pavement at regular intervals; rhythm matches heavy breathing. Or perhaps the other way around. Sweat running down sides of face and body, accumulating in all the normal places: visible show of my extended exertion. Thoughts running ahead, planning, looking around corners and under rocks.
*POP* felt and heard.
Hands on the ground, “holy shit” on my tongue. Half crawl used to move the remaining hundred yards to my house.
Ice.
Wrap.
Elevation.
“Shit shit shit fuck” pushed through clenched teeth.
Doctors.
30-minute surgery two and a half years later, a real in-and-out job of scraping and cutting and a few thick stitches.

I can walk up stairs again.

I don’t run anymore.

Of Remotes and Bathrooms.

Sunday, November 15th, 2009

My fiancé was programming the remote for the region free DVD player, so we could watch some Without a Trace episodes.  I was wandering around, using the bathroom a lot.  Which makes me sound like a nervous puppy.  So let me start that part over.

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Overheard: at school

Tuesday, October 27th, 2009

On the way to my dorm, passed a girl talking on her cell phone:

“…and she’s already talking about divorce, and I was like, man she only got married like an hour ago.”

Overheard: at school

Sunday, October 25th, 2009

One guy to another, while walking to class:

“Okay, and this time don’t overload your harddrive with porn.”

ASHES: Woman

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009

I don’t like this thing I’ve been doing for the last year and a half, and the sixteen before that. (more…)

ASHES: Bicycle

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009

That bike was mine, once. It isn’t anymore. Now it belongs to the girl across the street and two houses down.

You taught me to ride that bike. I knew I couldn’t. I was too old, and you said I was to young to think so. You made me pick up my feet and push, but I only walked. Bike between my legs, one foot at a time. Step. Step. Step. You laughed the first time, and then you grew tired.

You made me try again. I don’t know what motivated me, but in the parking lot with the hill I flew. I was so fast. I yelled all the way down.

When I crashed into the dumpster, I made you push me again.

Thanks.

My confession. Dun dun duuuuuuunnnnnn

Monday, May 18th, 2009

I think I’ve been rebelling.

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Papua

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

the men in the Jayapura airport ash their clove cigarettes directly onto the floor. I sit on the floor reading Berenstain Bears to a two year old and a five year old; we share our books with a young Papuan woman and her child with enormous eyes. we smile and nod at each other, but can only share terima kasih. a man with glasses nods at me and we trade selamats. “how many?” he asks appraisingly, less of the boys than of me. “they’re not mine,” I say, and he leaves without further conversation.

*

ambulances carry dead people. funeral processions look like motorcycle gangs. imprisonment follows raising the flag of the independence movement, so Bob Marley, and Che Guevara walk around on t-shirts and posters, strange surrogates for freedom. police vans carry groceries for extra cash, while garbage trucks are cheap transport.

*

high over the Baliem valley, the mountain streams are sand. below, fish live in the garbage ditches and no, don’t drink the tap water. we bathe in the river with other children; they laugh at us in a language we do not understand. they bring soap to the water’s edge. later we shower in secret at home.

Have you ever seen asparagus wearing helmets?

Sunday, April 19th, 2009

As I’ve experienced first hand, interesting observations can be made while being drunk. I’m not talking about the obvious stuff here, like finding hilarity in the bouncing of a tennis ball. I’m referring to things such as gravity awareness. Gravity can so easily be taken for granted while engaged in everyday activities such as walking. But when drunk, a certain sensitivity to this primal force of nature arises from the backlogged basement of the brain.

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Saturday, April 18th, 2009

Some people tell you love, but they don’t mean it. Get what they want and then throw you away. Some people promise a difference. They beg for what’s special, then forget the next day.

It all adds to regrets, and turning new leaves, and promises to self that you won’t make that mistake again.

But then people you cherish, they tell you love. Get what they want, and then throw you away.