I have striven as a parent to teach my child to be considerate of others. It’s something I personally find very important, something I think the world sadly lacks.
But now that my son has become the thoughtful little boy that he is, I recently developed a new worry. What if he becomes the one that gets picked on. He loves other kids but tends to be shy around them. Strangely, he is never shy around adults and loves conversing with us like we’re all his best friends (he’ll even shout “Hello there!” across a parking lot to strangers he sees loading their groceries into the trunk of their car. But with children? He never seems to know what to say. And so I became worried that “the mean ones” might single him out as weak; a target to throw their abuse at.
Yesterday we took Miles to the park, and I was pleasantly surprised by something.
Now before I continue, I want to say that I am continually surprised by my son in a variety of ways, and he really makes me think. I have tried to give him the tools he needs to use that kindly spirit that he has, but I really think my guidance has played a small role and this is just how God made him. He has blessed us with him. The farther along I go with him, the more I am amazed by it.
So we took Miles to the park for an hour or two of fun, and while we were there I was once again amazed. I watched proudly as he allowed other children their turn on the steering wheel, or let them go first on the stairs and slide. But I noticed something else that took me by surprise and made me wonder what I was so worried about.
You see there were a couple of other boys there.
The first was about Miles’ own size and clearly wanted to play, but he wanted to be in charge and kept trying to boss Miles around. Miles would sometimes follow if it was fun, but more times than not he would make his own choice about whether or not to use the stairs or the ladder, or whatever the case may have been. My concern that his continual acquiescence to others meant that he was going to be a pushover may have been entirely unfounded.
The second boy was an Experimental Bully. He wasn’t really old enough to be the tough guy, but he was somewhat bigger than the rest of the children there. He wasn’t sure if he had what it takes to be a bully, or even if he really wanted to be one, but he was just trying out a few things to see what it was like. Mainly he was playing “King of the Slide,” by sitting in front of the slide and trying to block the other kids from using it. The slide is Miles’ favorite thing to do at the park, so I was curious to see how he was going to handle this situation, since he can at times be timid around children when they talk to him. I had this vision of Miles looking down the path to the slide, seeing the Experimental Bully, and just turning around and never using the slide the whole time we were there. But once again I was surprised.
Miles walked right up to the Experimental Bully, waited for him to move, and when the Bully wouldn’t move, well, Miles just plowed through him and went down the slide anyway.
What was I so worried about? Miles is a good boy, he can be somewhat shy around other kids, but he is not a pushover, and he apparently won’t be picked on either. I don’t remember having anything to do with this.
Thanks, God, for giving me such a special little boy–and an entertaining one at that–who is thoughtful, considerate, and bold.
Tags: Charlie, family, Personal History
Sweet.